Is Social Media Affecting Your Mental Health? A Relational Look at Digital Life

By Nakita Jangra, Therapist / Mental Health Professional

In today’s world, it’s almost impossible to imagine life without social media. Whether you’re checking Instagram, scrolling TikTok, or catching up on friends through Facebook, social media can feel like a second home—or sometimes, a second job.

But here’s the question many of us are quietly wondering: Is all this online connection actually good for our mental health?

The answer, like most things in psychology, is it depends. But what we know for sure is that social media touches something deeply human: our need for connection, validation, and meaning.

Why Social Media Feels So Personal

At its core, social media isn’t just about sharing pictures or following trends. It’s about relationships. The way we present ourselves, interact with others, and interpret what we see all tie back to our sense of self and belonging.

If you’ve ever posted something and waited for likes—or felt a little low after seeing someone else’s “perfect” life online—you’re not alone. That’s because platforms are designed to trigger comparison. Often without realizing it, we start measuring our worth against others. And when our feed is full of curated highlights, it’s easy to feel like we’re not enough.

Your Attachment Style Might Show Up Online Too

Psychology teaches us that the way we related to caregivers early in life often shapes how we connect with others as adults—this is called our attachment style. Interestingly, those patterns often show up in our social media behavior.

For example:

• If you tend to feel anxious in relationships, you might check your phone often, worry about being liked, or feel hurt when people don’t respond quickly.

• If you’re more avoidant, you might scroll quietly, post rarely, or keep your distance emotionally—yet still feel the pull to stay connected.

These behaviors aren’t good or bad—but becoming aware of them can help you understand what you’re really needing when you reach for your phone.

The Comparison Trap and Self-Esteem

Social comparison is a natural human process—but on social media, it’s supercharged. Seeing filtered, polished versions of people’s lives can chip away at our self-esteem, especially when we’re already feeling vulnerable.

This shows up in ways like:

• Feeling like your life is boring or unaccomplished

• Body image struggles after seeing influencers or fitspiration posts

• Questioning your relationships, career, or happiness based on what others share

It’s important to remember: what we see online is a performance, not the full picture. Most people don’t post their hard days, relationship issues, or moments of doubt.

Can Social Media Ever Be Healthy?

Yes—when used intentionally and relationally. Social media can actually offer genuine connection, especially for people who feel isolated in their offline world. LGBTQ+ folks, people of color, neurodivergent individuals, and others often find empowering community and support in online spaces.

What makes the difference is how you use it:

• Are you engaging meaningfully, or just scrolling passively?

• Do you leave feeling more connected, or more depleted?

• Can you be your authentic self, or do you feel pressure to perform?

As a therapist, I often explore these questions with clients—not to shame their screen time, but to help them get curious about what their digital habits might be saying about deeper emotional needs.

Tips for a Healthier Relationship with Social Media

1. Check in with yourself before and after scrolling – Notice your emotional state. Are you reaching for your phone out of boredom, loneliness, or habit?

2. Curate your feed – Unfollow accounts that make you feel “less than.” Follow people who inspire, educate, or make you feel seen.

3. Limit passive consumption – Comment, message, and engage in real connection.

4. Create offline space – Set screen boundaries and make time for activities that ground you in your body and relationships.

5. Talk about it – If social media is affecting your self-worth or mental health, you’re not alone—and therapy can be a space to unpack it safely.

You’re Not Broken—You’re Human in a Digital World

If you’re struggling with anxiety, low self-esteem, loneliness, or feeling “not enough” after spending time online, you’re not weak or overly sensitive. You’re responding to very real social and psychological dynamics. In therapy, we can explore not just how social media affects you—but what deeper needs and longings might be underneath.

Social media might be part of the problem—but it can also be part of the healing, when approached with awareness, compassion, and support.

If you’d like to explore this more in therapy, I’d be honored to walk alongside you.